My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When did angry sex become our thing?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
