Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
