i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have post one night stand depression
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
