I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
