Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish they made helmets for livers.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Two words: blizzard sex
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
