he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I did not marry a roomba.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
