I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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