It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
