Ambien. No doubt about it.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
