yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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