Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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