I'm so fucking centered right now
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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