So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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