That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize