Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize