If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
