Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
