...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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