oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
