so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize