oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
