Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
