Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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