DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
