dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize