where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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