Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
