It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
