Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
