party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
