I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
