I'm eating all of the evidence.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
