Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
