i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
