As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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