in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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