Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
These tits shall not be calmed
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
