dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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