and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
