No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
