Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
now i know why i became what i already was.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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