I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
