It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
