i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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