I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
