Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
