My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
