Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
