i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
