ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
