Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
