Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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