If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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