Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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