HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
