Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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