whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
