I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
