Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
