It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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