I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Welp...herpes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
