i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Boobs are out for the taking
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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